A few weeks ago a bird seemed to drop out of the sky and onto our playground. An adult noticed it immediately and adults and children gathered curiously to look and to speculate. Children spoke about their understanding of the situation and teachers used plain language to answer questions and do their own speculating. We used the word “dead” and let children lead the conversation while sharing information about what this might mean, focusing on the bird’s physical body, that it had stopped working.

We have read books about death at school many times. Tough Boris, The Dead Bird, Good-By Mousie. While I did put The Dead Bird back into rotation after this big event, we didn’t whip it out in the moment. We have already laid a foundation of understanding about death and dying through the titles I’ve mentioned and through listening to children’s stories about their own experiences with the death of a grandparent or other family member or friend, fictional characters, and pets.

Speaking openly about death is a gift that we can give children. Bringing age-appropriate books about death into your family library is a great way to start conversations. All of this helps children build an understanding if it’s done outside of the immediate pain of death, during relaxed daily life.